Business presentations
Most business presentations are horrible, but yours needn't be.
Garrett Wasny, CMC | September, 2000Why are so many business presentations so bad? Even in today’s supposedly high-tech, information, edutainment age, the average presentation is a mind-numbing, angst-ridden, time-stealing torture test which would crush the spirit of Job. Routinely, presentations start late and run way behind schedule. The technology used to deliver presentations – everything from computers to microphones to projectors – works erratically, if it even works in the first place. Presentation graphics are not really graphics at all: they’re words – in some cases, hundreds of words -- crammed onto a single slide. Worse, the words themselves are often little more than lame cliches and corporate double-speak which mean nothing. Why, why, why?
Expectations – or rather our lack thereof -- play a key role. When we slap down eight dollars to see a motion picture, for example, our expectations are in the stratosphere. We demand an all-engrossing, neuron-blowing entertainment extravaganza. As part of that experience, we have other expectations as well: that the theatre has a movie projector that actually works; that the front of the theatre has a billboard-sized screen upon which the movie is shown; and that a half-decent sound system is in operation which allows us to clearly hear the voices, sounds, and music from the film. Could you imagine sitting in a packed movie house waiting to see “Nurse Betty” when the theater manager walks to the front and addresses the crowd. “Sorry, folks,” he says, “but the projector and sound system are on the fritz, and we can’t screen the movie. In its place, we proudly present Rusty Nails, our projectionist, who will read the movie screenplay to us in a dry, monotone voice that will be inaudible to all but those in the first three rows. Enjoy the show.” Incomprehensible? Think again. While this would never happen in a movie theater where you pay a mere eight dollar admission charge (the audience would go ballistic), this is normal in boardrooms and conferences nationwide where admission costs and staff time easily equal eight hundred dollars or more. Frequently, equipment is faulty and speakers are dreadful, but the audience almost always never seems to mind. Go figure. Pay so little for a movie and expect so much. Pay so much for a business presentation and expect so little.
Another consideration is that many so-called business presentations aren’t really business presentations at all. They’re more “command performances”: staged shows of power similar to the old Red Square missile parades during the Cold War. The person presenting – more often than not a senior executive from the Leonid Brezhnev school of management – is there not to pass along new product information, business forecasts, or inspiration to clients or staff. They’re there to show who’s in charge – them. I know a corporate big-whig who made some 100 people, myself included, wait over three hours before delivering a scheduled presentation. Apparently, His Worship had a hard-copy version of his Powerpoint presentation but not an electronic one. He forgot the latter back at headquarters, accidentally or otherwise, and refused to go on stage until such time as the file had been e-mailed to our regional office from HQ, downloaded onto a diskette, rushed over to the conference center, loaded onto a computer, inserted into a Powerpoint program, and then projected onto a screen. The people at our end worked frantically, but had trouble contacting the person back in HQ who knew where the exact file was located. After a frantic search, the file was finally found and sent, although could not be opened at this end because of a software conflict. After considerable trial and error – mostly error – the problem was solved, and the presentation was finally fired up at 11:45 am, way past the scheduled 8:30 am start time. The whole time, the visiting dignitary coolly sipped cappuccino in the corner of the room and huddled with his entourage, while the people in the audience stewed. Could he have delivered the presentation without the electronic file? Absolutely. The slides were all text – no graphics to speak of. When he finally did get behind the mike, he merely read word-for-word what was on the screen. The inference being that we in his audience were so dense that hearing his words was not enough. In what was left of his mind, we needed to read along as well. In the end, he spoke for an hour, but said absolutely nothing. A hollow suit uttering empty words. What an inspiration.
What to do? If you’re a speaker, make a solemn pledge not to repeat this or other crimes against corporate humanity. Use the web to get up to speed on the best speaking techniques and presentation equipment. Presentations Magazine at http://www.presentations.com offers free online tutorials on how to create and deliver presentations. They also review products ranging from audience response systems to teleconferencing to projectors. I highly recommend signing up for their monthly hard-copy publication which is available free with registration. Superbly written and designed, the magazine should be mandatory reading for anyone in your organization who delivers seminars or workshops for an internal or external audience. Presenters University at http://www.presentersuniversity.com/ provides free primers on topics ranging from the presentation lessons learned from the Survivor television show to dealing with presentation disasters to designing effective visual aids. A must-see is their free downloads section which includes Powerpoint templates, backgrounds, clip art, sounds, and other resources to spice up your next presentation. Another valuable tool is the Virtual Presentation Assistant at http://www.ukans.edu/cwis/units/coms2/vpa/vpa.htm. Prepared by the Communication Studies Department at the University of Kansas, the site walks you through, step-by-step, how to do everything from selecting your topic to analyzing your audience to presenting your speech. If you’re an audience member, be more critical in your assessment of business presentations, and be vocal when they fall short. Only by expecting and demanding more will presentations rise above their current mundane level, and become what they should be: true sources of information and inspiration in our work world.
Based in Vancouver, Canada, Garrett Wasny, CMC, is an e-commerce trainer and author. His latest book is World Business Resources.com. Mr. Wasny may be reached at gwasny@direct.ca or Tel: 604/878-4555.
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